One of the best leadership classes I ever took was at Fuller Theological Seminar, Leadership in Context with Scott Cormode. In his first lecture, Scott said leaders are faced with the unmerciful expectations of everyone around them. What is more, different people have different expectations. Thus, it is impossible to meet everyone's expectations. If you focus meeting the expectations of one group, you are missing the expectations of another and vice versa. What, then, do leaders do when they are weighed down by a pile of expectations? They fail people at a rate they can stand.
As a leader in the church, people will expect you to make the ministry grow without changing anything or, another way to say it, 'the way things have always been'. In addition, people will want you to make them grow spiritually that is meaningful, but not painful. Both of these are unrealistic expectations, but as unrealistic as they may be people still put them on our shoulders as church leaders. The secret is to not allow these expectations to discourage you, but to see them as opportunities to learn and grow as a leader, and help others grow.
How do we fail people's expectations at a rate they can stand? By listening to what they have to say, asking questions, being gracious, being humble, stating what we can realistically do within a realistic time frame, offer different suggestions and vision.
Above all, we ask God to fill us with grace and patience in order to expend grace and patience onto others.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
big rocks
One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered over achievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz."
Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"
Everyone in the class said, "Yes."
Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?"
By this time the class was on to him. "I think so," one of them answered.
"Wrong!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"Yes!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Wrong."
Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “How about now?”
“No!” The class shouted, “It’s not full.” He said, “Yes, now it is full.” Then he asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"
"No," the speaker replied, "That's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."
What are the 'big rocks' in your life?
Your relationship with God?
Your husband or wife?
Your children?
Your loved ones?
Your health?
Your education?
Your dreams?
A worthy cause?
Teaching or mentoring others?
Doing things that you love?
Time for yourself?
Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you'll fill your life with little things you worry about that don't really matter, and you'll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks).
So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.
-anonymous
Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"
Everyone in the class said, "Yes."
Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?"
By this time the class was on to him. "I think so," one of them answered.
"Wrong!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"Yes!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Wrong."
Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “How about now?”
“No!” The class shouted, “It’s not full.” He said, “Yes, now it is full.” Then he asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"
"No," the speaker replied, "That's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."
What are the 'big rocks' in your life?
Your relationship with God?
Your husband or wife?
Your children?
Your loved ones?
Your health?
Your education?
Your dreams?
A worthy cause?
Teaching or mentoring others?
Doing things that you love?
Time for yourself?
Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you'll fill your life with little things you worry about that don't really matter, and you'll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks).
So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.
-anonymous
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